All I need now is the beard
Posted September 16, 2011
The following is a guest post by Autumn Barlow. Autumn is a professional writer as well as an avid cyclist. If you’re remotely interested in writing, go check out her blog. I particularly like her piece on cycling etiquette.
All I need now is the beard. Which is a problem, being a young woman. Still, if the genetic evidence of my older female relatives holds true, a beard is a future possibility.
Hardcore Cyclists (capital C) will be shuddering into their energy gel at the thought of body hair, I know. And the wind drag of a bushy beard! This is a Cycling blog. What kind of freak am I?
It’s time to confess. I am a cyclist. But you’ll probably call me a small-c cyclist. I do own some lycra, of course. But I bought my shorts from Aldi; does that still count? (And they smell like something died in wee and chlorine – and I don’t think that’s normal.)
I don’t have a road bike, either. It’s true that I lust after an Audax bike from Ribble cycles, and I own more than one pair of cycling gloves. It’s not quite enough to make me a Cyclist though. The reason?
I don’t want to go fast. I don’t train. I don’t oil myself. (That’s a post for an entirely different blog.) I have straight handlebars and a chunky helmet. (You’re thinking of that other blog, again!) I cycle because I just love being on the top of hills, far away from home.
Walking doesn’t get me far enough. Driving misses the point. Cycling, as far as possible, for as long as possible, is all I want to do. Where to? Wherever I end up. I have a tiny tent and collection of maps. What else do I need?
There’s usually a gasp of horror whenever I mention wild camping. People have learnt not to comment when I tell them I’ve gone off for the whole afternoon, alone on my bike, possibly even out of mobile-phone range. But to actually stay out! It’s generally condemned as being nearly as irresponsible as going to a nightclub wearing next-to-nothing, getting very drunk, and propositioning random men. And no-one would ever do that, would they?
There aren’t many cycling groups who cater for the likes of me. I’ve perused the websites of a few local clubs, but there’s no way I’d keep up with the wiry men on their carbon fibre beauties. It’d be embarrassing for everyone. The only bunch of people that I’d possibly consider joining is the Rough Stuff Fellowship, but I have memories from when I worked in Youth Hostels, and I have a suspicion that beards are mandatory. Lovely, lovely people: but ever so….beardy. Long woolly socks figure, too.
Am I unique, or are there other cyclists out there who like to just get out there, get up hills, and sit watching the sun set, without the foggiest idea of how many miles they’ve done, how much they’ve improved since last week, and how many calories have been expended?
See you on a hill soon! I’m the one in the impossibly small tent.
picture featured in the Daily Cycle Flickr Group – added by bohneEOS
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